The Moment My Self-Love Journey Began
Back in 2012, my friend Tara posted a status on Facebook called “Favorite things about me.” It was funny, bold, honest, and so unapologetically her that I could not stop smiling. It made me think about how rarely we pause to acknowledge the parts of ourselves we actually love. That moment was one of the first times I started paying attention to my own self-love journey. At that time, the world felt very focused on perfection. Filters and editing were becoming normalized, magazines were already retouching everything, and beauty standards were operating at full speed. It was exhausting.
Tara passed away during COVID in 2021, and I miss her every single day. Her voice, her humor, her energy, and the way she always spoke her truth. I am grateful I had her in my life, and I still feel her influence in the way I approach honesty and vulnerability.
Over the years, I have written about various aspects of my own self-love journey, including how I learned to prioritize myself. You can read more about that here: Putting Me First, How my wellness journey began and where it’s headed.
If you can look in the mirror and like what you see, truly like it, that is a blessing. And you should never let anyone convince you otherwise.
My Real Talk Backstory
For years, I struggled to like what I saw in the mirror. When I was younger, I was in an accident, and both of my feet suffered third-degree burns. For my entire childhood and early adulthood, I lived terrified that someone would notice. Men talk about women’s feet the way people talk about wine. Detailed, judgmental, and full of rules. It got in my head. I convinced myself I could never be seen as beautiful. I dated to fill an emptiness I did not know how to sit with. My self-esteem lived in the basement, and my self-love journey had not even begun.
Then one day, working at Mrs. Fields Cookies in Bloomingdale’s, a co-worker said to me, “You are so pretty. No one is looking at your feet.” It sounds simple, but that sentence cracked something open. The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was not motherhood, moving, career changes, or taking risks. It was the first day I wore shoes without stockings. That was the day I walked into the world without trying to hide. No pointing, no whispering, no falling apart. Just me. I did not know it at the time, but that moment was the first real step in my self-love journey.
From that moment on, I stopped letting other people’s opinions direct my life. If someone talks about me now, that is their hobby. I like me, and that is enough. Learning to hold that truth was part of my self-love journey, too.
I believe God gives us all a plan. Mine was to learn empathy through imperfection. I do not judge people for what they look like or what they are missing. I want to know their gifts and their heart. I am not a saint. If you are wearing something ridiculous, I may judge that, but that can be fixed. My self-love journey taught me that what matters most lives far beyond appearances.
So Tara, here is my list. My favorite things about me:
• I love my body from my head to my toes
• I love my feet because they carried me through life when they easily could not have
• I love my smile, my voice, and my lips
• I embrace my voluptuous breasts (I might prefer one size down, so I did)
• I love my laugh
• I love my ability to love
• I love that I try to be a good friend
• I love my daughters and my husband
• I love my mind
• I love my sense of humor
• I love my ability to forgive
• I love that I am opinionated
• I love that I talk a lot
• I love wearing sexy dresses
• I love that I love without conditions
• I love helping people; it makes me happy
• I love that my family loves me unconditionally
• I love cooking for the people I care about
Are there areas I can improve? Of course. Staying in shape is about health now, not perfection. But my life is full of blessings. I wake up every day grateful. I thank God for my daughters and my husband, who is my rock and my number one fan.
If there is one thing I learned from Tara, it is that life is too short not to love who you are. Too short to shrink. Too short to wait for permission. Too short not to tell the truth about what makes you special.
To anyone reading, I invite you to make a list of your favorite things about yourself. Start small if you need to. Loving yourself, or even just liking yourself, can change how you move through the world.
Real talk. You deserve that.
Special thanks to my friend Tara Sharp for the inspiration. I love you, and I miss you.
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