On this anniversary of 9/11, I’m reminded how easily we get wrapped up in things that truly don’t matter. We hold onto anger with loved ones. We sweat the small stuff. We assume tomorrow is guaranteed. It isn’t. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Be Grateful.
September 11, 2001 is a day I will never forget. It was horrific. It is etched into our collective memory and into my own like it happened yesterday. I take comfort in knowing that the innocent lives lost that day will never be forgotten. I still have not visited the 9/11 Museum, but it is on my list the next time I’m in New York City.
All we can really do is live. Fully. Gratefully. Without losing ourselves in things that don’t deserve our energy. Life is a gift, and it should never be taken for granted.
When I first moved to Sag Harbor 17 years ago, I had an 8-year-old and a 2-year-old. Kurt was working in New York City, and I was suddenly in a new place, without friends or family, feeling overwhelmed and alone. I was still commuting to Brooklyn for work that first month.
On the morning of 9/11, I had just dropped Dani off at school and was preparing to drive into Brooklyn with Allura. Kurt called me first because he had just learned that his father was diagnosed with cancer. He was devastated. I talked him through it so he could continue his drive into the city.
About an hour later, he called again and said, “Ness, turn on the news. Do not drive into the city today.”
I turned on the TV and felt frozen. Many of my friends worked in the World Trade Center buildings. A deep, overwhelming grief set in. I am grateful that my friends made it home, but so many parents did not return to their children that day.
Kurt once shared a poem with me called “Just for Today” by Sally Meyer, written from a mother to a child. It stayed with me. It put everything into perspective. It reminded me to slow down. To be present. To appreciate the moments we so often rush past.
Although my children are now grown, 25 and 18, I still catch myself getting wrapped up in work and distractions. I have to remind myself to pause and really listen. To turn off the phone. The television. The computer. When we’re together, we sometimes play a simple board game of Sorry. Phones away. Just being together.
I am deeply grateful for my daughters. There is not a single day that I don’t say thank you for the privilege of raising them, loving them, guiding them, and learning alongside them. They are no longer children. They are women. And I still make time every day to talk to them, to show up, and to share in the things they enjoy.
9/11 reminds us of this truth: tomorrow is not promised. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Say the kind words. Hold the hug longer. Be present.
Life is precious. Let’s live like we know that.
