Sag Harbor, NY: Pierson/Bridgehampton Varsity Field Hockey Team the NYS Class C 2013 Champions…More than Just a Game To Me

Lady Whalers, 2013 NYS Field Hockey Class C Champions

There are many significant moments we live in our lives that we remember. Our 16th birthday party, our first kiss, the birth of a child, the death of a parent…. a championship game. Our children don’t know it yet because they don’t have the benefit of hindsight but this championship game will be with them for the rest of their lives. For some, it will help to define them as winners. For others it will show them what can be accomplished with hard work and teamwork. Both good lessons that will further their individual pursuits, as they get older.

My take is somewhat different. To me, there is NOTHING as good as team sports. Seeing your teammates in their team sports uniforms invokes such a feeling of unity. If your child is interested and you have the time (what a novel idea) please encourage them to join a sports team. The lessons learned are endless. The inside jokes, the special nod of a head, the telepathy, the bonding of lifelong friendships. These are the things that will move forward, the things that will last. Who knows where it will take them in the future, maybe onto a professional career themselves in hockey, football, rugby, etc. and you’ll be buying their merchandise online, whether that be the carlton merchandise or the Adelaide crows merchandise, who knows what will happen but getting them started is giving them something to think about.

Lady Whalers 2013
Katherine Matthers, Allura Leggard, India Hemby, Samatha Duchemin, Kasey Gilbride

We often celebrate the captain of the team and the star players. We see them with the ball, in their hand, the bat, the ‘SPEAR’ in their hands and admire their ability to rise above the moment and seize the opportunity to make the big play and win the game. We are in awe of the great coaching and understand that we don’t always know as spectators what is best for the team. The Lady Whalers are blessed to have a few really good players and some great players and it showed on Saturday and Sunday night, November 16th and 17th 2013. We marvel at their resolve.

photo credit: Kurt H. Leggard

I want to talk about the team. What we don’t see are the countless hours of practice and rehearsal that goes into making the big play. The repetition, the struggle the ‘bench players’ that push the stars to greatness. I was so excited to watch the young ladies overcome the bad calls, the physical play of very worthy opponents to win but it doesn’t occur without the winning DNA that this TEAM has within their collective body. I am excited for our seniors, for their grit and determination and magnificent play. But they learned it somewhere. Three years ago as many of you know well, Pierson lost an opportunity for a championship to this very same team in a double overtime thriller. This current victory was forged through that loss. The team alumni that lost that game came out to watch and cheer the current team on. Some of today’s stars were on the bench when Pierson lost in 2010.

Photo credit: Kurt H. Leggard

So I say to everyone, look to the end of the bench and peer into the future. We cannot tell who will be the next star to rise to the occasion to carry the team to victory. What we do know is this. The character of this team was revealed through the struggle. It isn’t what you do when things are going well that says who you are, its how you respond when things go their worst that determines who you are and what you will be. The DNA of the Lady Whalers Field Hockey team is filled with pride, strength, skill, determination, grit and excellence. This DNA runs deep and I am very hopeful for the future. Get your kids to join a team and let their winning DNA improve the fortunes of that team! Go Whalers!

photo credit: Kurt H. Leggard
Congratulations: Coach: Shannon Judge, Asst. Coach: Melissa Edwards, Kaitlin Daniels &
Elizabeth Marchisella
Team: Kasey Gilbride, Katherine Matthers, Emmeline Luck, Kirra Mcgowin,
Emma Romeo, India Hemby, Rachael Miller, Phiona Vall, Samantha Duchemin, Erica Selyukova, Kerrie Vila, Cassandra Spencer, Sheila Mackey, Ana Sherwood, Calista Cafiero. Allura Leggard, Hollie Schleicher
for more images on their amazing journey to the State Finals..check out Photography By Kurt

Check out the Winning Goal and Goalie’s cartwheel….So very funny!

Hamptons Happenings…The Hamptons 9

On Sunday, July 21st, 2013 while Kurt and I were recovering from the previous day’s events including a birthday party for Kurt in which his friends roasted him for being as old as dirt; the last thing we wanted to do was to get involved in any project. We were looking forward to a day of doing nothing, absolutely NOTHING.

Two guests remained, having stayed the night and we were enjoying some coffee and our daughters continuing to pillage Kurt with ‘old man’ jokes, when our friend received a call at about 11:00am, just when Stephanopoulos was going off. We were all a little alarmed when we overheard the concern in her voice. We heard her shout”…Oh, no!!! They did what????” She had gotten all our attention as we listened in. Our friend appeared shaken as she entered the living room. She could barely contain her emotions as she was visibly angry and looked like she wanted to scream.

Our friend had just gotten a call from her daughter who told her that when celebrating a friend’s birthday with 8 other friends the previous Saturday night July 20th, they had been rebuffed by the security detail outside of the Georgica Restaurant and Lounge in Wainscott, Ny, being told that they couldn’t go inside. Now having frequented a number of clubs myself, I knew that sometimes, without a contact, reservation or being born into royalty you will have a hard time getting into some of these venues in the Hamptons. That’s just how it is. But this is where this thing swings completely out of control.  The 9 girls were allegedly told by the security that the reason they couldn’t get in was “a colored thing”.’ SAY WHAT???? The girls are African American.

According to the girls, the security intimated that if it was up to him, he would have let them in but he was following orders. He was saying this in hushed tones as a manager (a white man) was looking on from a short distance, apparently to insure that the message had been delivered. The girls were inconsolable. Whipped, tarred, feathered, defeated and turned away. Because of their youth and inexperience with dealing with this type of behavior they choose, perhaps the best option and walked away. They did question the statement of the bouncer to identify that he had indeed said what he said. At first he tried to deny it but when the group insisted that he had indeed uttered that ‘…it’s a colored thing’ remark; he relented and agreed that he had said it. This did not change the dynamic, if anything it only infuriated the girls more. They choose the best course in this matter. Their intelligence and good sense told them to walk away without creating a scene. This was a good idea given how sometimes things spiral out of control and law enforcement is tasked with having to make judgments that may be disproportionate to the circumstance. Walking away was not easy for them.

When the girls left the club they were crest fallen, confused and disillusioned. The veneer of the Hamptons had been stripped away and the bitter pill they were being forced to swallow had only just begun to impact them. Their evening of friendship, sisterhood and plain old fun was ruined, no… destroyed.

Kurt and I had an opportunity to speak with the owner of Georgica, Antonio Fuccio, on Monday night, July 22, 2013 who had just drove in from Brooklyn and was gracious enough to make himself available to speak to us. He wanted to view the video we had taken of the young women speaking of their experience on Saturday night. After viewing this 30 minute video, he seemed upset when one of the young ladies indicated that the bouncer  said” I would let you in if it were up to me but it’s a color thing”.

Mr. Fuccio’s response at first was defensive and he began to say that this was a gross miscommunication and his establishment has never been accused of racial discrimination. He indicated that he has been a reputable business in the community for several years and is the only nightclub that has never had an issue with over-crowding. I wanted Mr. Fuccio to have an opportunity respond to these allegations.

He says they have never had a violation, but admitted that they are probably the only place that has a complicated policy of getting into the club. He indicates that it is the policy of the club that you make a reservation on Friday and Saturday nights. The club is small and the maximum number of people that can be in the club is 299, so to maximize on the space is to only allow reservations. He indicates that it is a one bottle minimum, but if it is really busy then it could be a cost to the table. Mr. Fuccio told his bouncer while we there that if someone had explained to the ladies that it was a $300 minimum bar requirement to enter he is sure these ladies would not have blinked an eye and would have paid it. The bouncer stated the ladies were told  this and they had a problem with the cost. He stated the ladies questioned “why do we have to pay this amount if we were here already this evening”?  I interjected and said, according to their statement they were never told  about this policy.

After spending over an hour with Mr. Fuccio he seemed genuinely upset and surprised, and asked if he could have a copy of the video, he wants to use this as the training video for what should NEVER happen. He was extremely upset with his staff and the possible mistaken impression people could have of the policies and ethics of his establishment. Mr. Fuccio offered to issue a letter of apology to the ladies and extend an invitation to invite the ladies back, although he doubted they would accept.

He apologized for the staff not handling it correctly. He said he was embarrassed and this is not how he runs his business. Although this was a difficult conversation, he was patient and very open in discussing this very difficult situation. I do however think his staff needs additional training and I do believe that whoever was in charge, prejudged these young women and assumed they were not going to be spending sufficient money.

The hostess had a responsibility to tell the girls of the table requirement, yet this was not done but I am told it was not her job to tell them. Well, whose job was it? I feel the restaurant should be more forthcoming with their late night entry policy, with regards to reservations on Friday and Saturday nights, because the website does not indicate this information.

It is my hope that Georgica and other places in the Hamptons learn from this. It is the niteclub’s perogative to allow in who they want.  They have the right to maintain their  exclusivity, the other stuff has no place. The question is however; why were these young women the only people left standing outside?

Some background information is in order. These young women of color are all college graduates from the finest schools in the land. From Hillary Clinton’s alma mater Wellesley College, as well as UPenn, Howard University, Boston College and other elite schools. These Black women hold positions as diverse as research analysts at a renowned east coast research hospital to a marketing strategist in a fashion house. These women are no country bumpkins or riff raff. These young Black women are educationally prepared and contributing members of our society. You get my drift. These ladies did everything right. They were going out on the town in the Hamptons and realizing they could be at risk, engaged a limousine to take them to every venue they wanted to go to. They were and are smart. You’ll forgive me for calling them girls because they remind me of my daughters. THEY ARE MY DAUGHTERS!!!! That’s why this is personal.

My oldest daughter could have just as easily been one of this crew. Ready to hang out in the Hamptons. Our friend has a home in the Hamptons, so her daughter has been raised in the Hamptons, knows this place. They choose this club because they knew the party was happening there, only just not for them. We only hope it was not because of the gift of more melanin in their skin. When our friend related this incident, we immediately knew that these young women had to be given the opportunity to tell their story. We decided to videotape their words. Only they would be able to chronicle this calamity, what they viewed as racism. Yeah, I said it. That’s what it is folks. Now I’m not that delusional to think that some of you will say and swear that this is not the case and you are entitled to your fantasy. But the reality that these young women were exposed to, sometimes lurks just around the bend. I am certain that the bouncer spoke out of turn but I am just as certain that in many clubs, perhaps not this one, the implicit but unspoken directive is to limit access to ‘too many’ minority faces in these establishments. It is OK to have the ‘hired help’ strategically placed to give a sense of inclusion but the true question is, who do you allow through the front door?

These beautiful, intelligent young women, who, if you closed your eyes and wished upon a star, you would want your daughter to grow up to be just like them, regardless if you were white, black, yellow, red or brown. Having spoken to them, it only added to my own hurt and frustration in my inability to make it better. It made me cry. I just couldn’t help myself.

Well, we taped them and they laid bare about all the hurt and pain they have suffered as a result of this nonsense. The girls have asked us to wait before releasing the video. They are worried, and perhaps with good reason, as to the known and unknown impacts that the notoriety of this video may cause to current and future employment opportunities. In this day of social media, it is an unpleasant byproduct of the medium. Corporate America may see these vital young women as trouble, based on their encounter with what perceived as racism and further violate them with censorship and employment opportunities unrealized.

And that would be a shame. Hamptons Mouthpiece, “we do the talking for you” 

special Thank You to my hubby Kurt H. Leggard who co-wrote this article with me.

The Genie is Out the Bottle: I don’t know about you but I suspect that we are all just alike concerning the use of digital media. Whether we are consumers or producers of digital content, I am becoming more and more alarmed and so should you. Yes, I admit it…. I am becoming increasingly paranoid about my exposure to digital media hijack. It could be Facebook, Instagram, pictograms, or whatever, I am more and more aware of my loss of privacy and my ability to remain anonymous is fading. That world has ended for me and you.

GENIE4 I am old enough to remember reading Orwell’s 1984. And sure enough, BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING! I know you’ve heard this before but it scares the crap out of me knowing that ‘THEY’ know where I’m at and what I’m doing all the time. Let anyone snap a picture of you and post it, someone can determine where you are by using GPS tracking on the digital data in the picture. This setting is turned on by the default settings on your iPhone or Android devices. The CIA and FBI are constantly before Congress attempting and sometimes succeeding in increasing their ‘lawful’ right to surreptitiously observe our use of digital content and store data on our usage.

It just drives me crazy (not clinically yet!) to know that companies such as Instagram (owned by Facebook ) tried to write into their policies that they had the right to publish and OWN digital images that were posted by their users. They had the gall (I really mean BALLS) to try to dictate that they actually owned our digital content and could make money off of our pictures. Now don’t think for a minute that it was user outrage that changed their corporate minds and forced them to ‘clarify their policy and backdown from their position to usurp our ownership rights. It was when celebrities started to leave Instagram that the policy reverted back to ‘normal’. I feel so weak and powerless.

This is my point. We are beginning to see a backlash in social media. There is a small but growing trend to stop using social media outlets such as Facebook. This is good and bad. I don’t have my head so far in the sand to not see the advantages for the appropriate use of social media, there is a lot of good there. It is the manipulative behavior of corporate America and government to use our data against us that we have ‘voluntarily’ provided; to control and shape our perceptions and our society that we must be vigilant against. It is imperative that users become more familiar with privacy settings and limiting exposure to digital hijack.

The Genie is out of the bottle concerning the control of our digital and social lives. You DON’T get 3 wishes and the Genie can’t be controlled and can’t be put back in.

kitty2Greetings Hamptons Mouthpiece Readers…I have decided to start a column called Random Rants. It is about things that tick me off. If you would like to contribute to this column you are welcomed to do so.

My issue today is about BULLIES….I HATE BULLIES..I hate bullies in school, in the work place, driving, politics, anywhere..When I am encountered with a bully I will immediately take action against the bully and be prepared to fight the fight. This for me includes my family, a cause, a wrong doing a policy, but I am also aware that I cannot fight everything so I will need to choose my battles. I know a bully when I see a bully and I think most people do to as well. (see this article “Effort to fight Bullying”..written by Claire Walla

We owe it to our children to show them that they can confront life. There will be many test, what they call trials and tribulations. This is where we lead by example. If we show our children that we are afraid to confront the bullies either privately or publicly then our children will be afraid to, but we need to show them how to do it through non-violent means. To often through our inaction we give our children messages that they shouldn’t act. We have to show them that inaction in the face of bad behavior is a recipe for continued bad behavior. They have to STEP UP! Now we can choose to show them through our actions or our words, but we have to show them. Sometimes it is ok to avoid problems and that may be the better course, the better part of valor; but when cornered and you can neither go left or right or back, then they have to face their fears and go forward. You let the chips fall where they may. We have to teach our children to go forward, we have to teach our children to NEVER BE AFRAID. 

Hamptons Mouthpiece; I often run into people who say I thought your business was just writing your blog. I admit branding Hamptons MouthPiece is a huge part to what I do but not the only thing I do. Today I would like to focus on Social Media because I am a social media consultant and it does encompass a huge percentage of my time. Today I awoke at 430am and decided to tackle a task that I find extremely consuming and tedious…filtering through the friend request I receive in a week on Facebook. There are so many different steps to growing an online social media network, I manage other peoples social media for a living and yet I find that I need a person to manage my Social Media. I love managing other people’s social media accounts, but in the midst of it all, I can’t help but feel that mine has taken a back seat. It is very likely that I will lose followers if I don’t regularly upload posts, and I fear that this will happen soon. Other people have told me to look into growth services that can help to organically increase your brand, reach, and followers. For example, sites like Nitreo offer these types of services so maybe I should sign up to these guys, or at least have a look at what they offer in the meantime. It would be good to have someone helping with my profiles for a change. The enormity of the work can be consuming and is truly slowing down my work-load of getting things done.

Social Media is a huge under-taking and incredibly time consuming for a business, BUT it is essential to the growth of any business who relies on customers that use Social Media. Social Media and texting have taken over how humans are communicating with each other and the way you once were able to reach your customer base has changed. Luckily, there are companies similar to SidesMedia ( that can help you to reach your customers through social media effectively, since there are so many different forms of Social Media that are essential to your growth:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • blogs
  • youtube
  • and lets not forget mobile apps…
How much time are you realistically able to designate to Social Media? If you are clueless to this new form of marketing, then I highly suggest you hire a consultant to help get you started and manage it for you. Social Media is all about engaging with your potential customers, but how is this done? How do you get started…there really is a formula and if followed it will be effective. I will leave you with this one piece of advice….Stop selling to your customers directly sell indirectly…build a relationship and make it about them…not about you.
There are so many ways in which you can achieve this. You see, when most people think about social media, they start to think about a smartphone, as most of these users will be communicating via their mobiles. So, why don’t you think about creating a marketing strategy that coincides with their phones? For example, places like Epsilon are able to help customize your channels so that your customers receive alerts that are targeted directly to them instead of other people. You can read more about it here – For businesses who like to market online, through social media and other ways, this could be particularly useful when it comes to building a strong relationship with your customers, and when this happens, you’re guaranteed more success.
But, please remember, I am here to consult with you if you are interested in utilizing my services to help get you started and show you how to take over and manage it yourself,
please contact me at [email protected]